| The other day I was watching Oprah one of my | | | | because they have given up their true identities. Why |
| favorite shows for many reasons but, that would be | | | | do I say true identity? Being a mom is only one of the |
| another subject. The topic was unfit mothers. Trust | | | | many roles that we play in life. Remember who you |
| me it was more than evident that some of the guests | | | | were before you had children: your hobbies, aspirations, |
| there had some serious issues due to the amount of | | | | life motto. Who was the person that your partner felt |
| abuse or neglect that they place their children in. | | | | in love with? Or friends and family once knew? It is not |
| However, there is something that really bothered me, | | | | like you are a computer that once you become a |
| they had numerous recordings of women that called | | | | mom your whole Identity gets erased and you |
| saying that they believed they were unfit mothers | | | | automatically become super mom. |
| because they get angry at their children and feel | | | | Trust me; I went thru this stage when I had my first |
| frustrated at times. Was I hearing right? Give me a | | | | daughter. I was all about her until; I took a real look at |
| break? Are moms not supposed to have feelings? | | | | the stranger in the mirror staring at me. She no longer |
| Hmmm! Let me see,o Once in a while when I am | | | | had her own illusions; she had neglected her physical |
| about to finish an article my one year old comes with | | | | appearance and most importantly did not like what she |
| the cheesiest smile and turns off the computer. If the | | | | saw. |
| article is not saved I lose it completely.o How about | | | | That's when I decided that not only was I aiming to be |
| you are trying to think straight and you have a toddler | | | | a good mom but, it was also my personal goal to not |
| screaming mommy, mommy, mommy, I want juice, a | | | | lose myself in the process. |
| toy, food, etc.o Have you ever finished cleaning and | | | | Now, I have given up work outside but, have remained |
| just when you think you can sit down your child spills | | | | independent by working at home, follow my dreams, |
| something in the floor?o Or my all time favorite when | | | | allow space to grow and take care of myself |
| ever I take my girls to a special place. I feel that I will | | | | (physically, emotionally). |
| be happy by just seeing them have a good time; and | | | | The result of it: I am happier which automatically helps |
| what they do? They spend the whole time crying and | | | | me be more patient, appreciative, and loving not to |
| bickering. | | | | mention a better role model. But, always keep in mind |
| Think again! All these things bother me and I say it | | | | there is no perfect mom. Just like any other role in life |
| even if people nod their heads with disbelief and think | | | | you will learn along the way. |
| "what a terrible mom". | | | | If you believe that you do not handle your frustrations |
| Moms are humans too you know, we have the right to | | | | effectively then it would be good to take anger or |
| feel tired, angry, happy, excited etc. Unlike those 60's | | | | stress management classes or if you would like to |
| shows were mom was always available and eager to | | | | enhance your parenting skill go to the Center for |
| please the whole family with a big smile. You want to | | | | Improving Child Caring they offer free classes in most |
| know what I think? There is no way that a person can | | | | states, free childcare is available while you are in class. |
| focus on everyone else and never do anything to fulfill | | | | "It will not be fair to mistreat your children so, seek out |
| them selves and be content in life. | | | | help if necessary." |
| So, here is the key to being a better mom? | | | | Just some advise from another mom, |
| Take care of yourself first! These women that were | | | | Kenia Morales |
| frustrated are probably too busy trying to be perfect | | | | You may reprint this article as long as no changes are |
| mothers and neglect themselves. Therefore, they | | | | made without permission and hyperlink is maintained |
| probably resent their children and even their partners | | | | active. |