| Since Hurricane Katrina, we have had a lot of requests | | | | no easy, one-size-fits-all answer to give. However, do |
| to reprint this article, first published immediately after 9 | | | | increase supervision, be ready for deterioration, monitor |
| 11. For more information on serving children in tragedy, | | | | medications, and be alert for substance abuse and |
| visit this page on our site for an extended version of | | | | other problematic "coping" methods. Use the strategies |
| this article. The information below was intended to help | | | | noted above for young children, as appropriate. Be |
| children after the 9/11 tragedy, but will be of help once | | | | especially tuned into thought-disordered and severely |
| again to children facing the pain of the recent | | | | depressed youth who so often seriously deteriorate |
| hurricanes... | | | | when the world seems far scarier or sadder than |
| Tuesday was a terrible day for the United States. | | | | usual. Watch for self-harm. Any child who has lived |
| Youth Change Workshops extends it's sympathy to | | | | with abuse or other horrible circumstances can be |
| those of you who have lost loved ones in this tragedy. | | | | expected to "over-personalize" the situation and |
| As tough as Tuesday was for adults, it can be even | | | | "over-react." Be tolerant of these reactions; given the |
| tougher for children. There is no magic formula for | | | | child's pre-existing challenges, these are "normal" |
| assisting children to cope with events that all of us | | | | reactions to abnormal times. |
| struggle to understand and manage, but here are | | | | GENERAL DO'S and DON'T'S |
| some basis "do's" and "don'ts" to help guide you to | | | | 1. BE FLEXIBLE: Be willing to put aside scheduled |
| best aid the young people in your world. | | | | activities to help kids manage the tragedy-- whether it's |
| SPECIAL POPULATIONS TO NOTICE: | | | | "your job" or not to do so. You can't learn or do other |
| 1. Younger Children | | | | activities when profoundly worried, frightened or |
| Younger children, about ages 5-8, can sometimes | | | | distracted and neither can kids. |
| understand more than they can process. Many children | | | | 2. REASSURE: Talk about other challenges that this |
| under age 5 or so, will probably be somewhat spared | | | | country has faced and how the country surmounted |
| the brunt of the impact. The abstract concept of death | | | | them. For example, if you remember President |
| may somewhat elude them, for example. Children who | | | | Kennedy's assassination, talk about how scary that felt |
| are a bit older may clearly comprehend many aspects | | | | to you and how the country overcame the crisis. |
| of Tuesday's events, but have little ability to manage | | | | 3. RELATE: Give specific details from your childhood, |
| the feelings that arise. This age group may be | | | | such your reaction to the JFK assassination, to show |
| especially expected to have nightmares, somatic | | | | how today's children can overcome today's trauma. |
| complaints, sleeping problems, or more difficulty than | | | | 4. BE HONEST, BUT CONCISE: Convey information at |
| normal with both everyday and stressful situations. | | | | an age-appropriate level, but keep it brief, and don't |
| Do not maintain customary expectations for coping. | | | | unnecessarily add scary details. Don't sugar-coat it; |
| For example: be more tolerant of somatic complaints | | | | even kindergartners can read your vibes. |
| and especially avoid comments like "But you can | | | | 5. LIMIT EXPOSURE TO VIOLENCE: Do not allow |
| normally be sleep alone!" Provide increased level of | | | | children and teens to watch the news nonstop. Be |
| nurturing and contact. Most important: assist with | | | | especially thoughtful about their exposure to violent |
| coping skills. To do so, make fears concrete and | | | | movies, books, games, etc. during this time, especially |
| manageable. Example: "It's normal to have trouble | | | | near bed time or when they must concentrate on |
| sleeping alone after a scary thing happens." Teach the | | | | learning or another task. |
| child to limit the time spent thinking about the scary | | | | 6. STRIVE FOR EVENTUAL CLOSURE: No one really |
| things, and show the child how to distract himself or | | | | can make sense out of Tuesday, but eventually you |
| herself. Encourage verbalizing concerns, and model | | | | may want to help give a sense of closure as best you |
| that with sentences like "I was scared too when I saw | | | | can. This may mean looking for any good at all that |
| the plane hit the building." Do not squelch, limit, or | | | | can result, such as our country is now more unified. Or, |
| negatively react to any verbalizations of fear, anxiety | | | | the closure may be more spiritual or just the |
| or stress. Instead, emphasize the normalcy of that | | | | acceptance that time brings. Stress that time normally |
| reaction. | | | | eases most pain. |
| Concrete action is important for these youngsters who | | | | 7. ACCEPTANCE: Troubled kids often act in ways |
| do not always grasp abstract concepts. Have the child | | | | that are problematic. Accept deterioration without |
| collect donations for the Red Cross, help pack | | | | blaming. Since the crisis began, you may have noticed |
| blankets to send to New York shelters, or other similar | | | | that you've had difficulty remembering where you put |
| activities. Action can teach these children that sad | | | | your car keys, or maybe you've had trouble |
| things happen, but rather than wallow or dwell, we can | | | | concentrating at work. This is normal. If I criticize you |
| use our sadness to make the bad situation just a little | | | | for losing your car keys, that just exacerbates your |
| bit better. That is a valuable lifelong skill for coping. | | | | situation, doesn't it? Kids can evidence their distress in |
| 2. Children in Stress | | | | similar or more dramatic ways. Don't give them |
| Children who are already faced troubling times, may | | | | additional burdens to bear by downgrading them for |
| have special difficulty when the world becomes | | | | their deterioration. It doesn't mean that you accept or |
| turbulent. These children include kids in crisis, children | | | | permit behavior problems, but that you take into |
| with mental health problems, drug-affected youth, kids | | | | consideration the context as you determine your |
| from troubled homes, abused kids and others. | | | | reaction. |
| As these children face an array of problems, there is | | | | |