| Becoming a step parent can often place
| |
| | to allow for adjustment, especially in
|
| you in an impossible position between the
| |
| | the critical first few weeks and months
|
| biological parent and the children unless
| |
| | following the establishment of this new
|
| you fully understand just what you are
| |
| | relationship.
|
| getting into and take your time and
| |
| | This initial discussion will not of
|
| handle the situation with great care.
| |
| | course be the end of the matter and
|
| Step parenting brings its own special
| |
| | several such discussions will need to
|
| problems as the new step parent is often
| |
| | take place before any truly meaningful
|
| caught in the middle between the
| |
| | and lasting shift in parenting
|
| biological parent and the children. Just
| |
| | responsibilities can take place.
|
| how much of a problem you will encounter
| |
| | Once you are in agreement the next step
|
| depends upon a whole variety of factors,
| |
| | is to bring the children on board and
|
| not the least of which will be the degree
| |
| | this step must initially be led by the
|
| of co-operation you receive from the
| |
| | biological parent. At an appropriate time
|
| biological parent and the ages of the
| |
| | the family should all sit down together
|
| children involved.
| |
| | and the biological parent should lead off
|
| The secret to successful step parenting
| |
| | a discussion in which the plan which you
|
| lies first in clearly establishing your
| |
| | have agreed can be revealed to the
|
| role with the biological parent because
| |
| | children and discussed with them.
|
| you will certainly have an uphill
| |
| | At this point it is important to
|
| struggle if the two of you are not fully
| |
| | emphasize that this should be a genuine
|
| in agreement from the outset. As with any
| |
| | discussion and not simply a case of the
|
| changes in a relationship though you must
| |
| | parents 'laying down the law' to the
|
| also realize that adjustments will take
| |
| | children. It is vitally important that
|
| time and you need to adopt a 'step by
| |
| | the children contribute to the discussion
|
| step' approach. Any attempt to rush
| |
| | and that their thoughts and views on what
|
| things, or to force the situation, will
| |
| | you have agreed be heard. Children, just
|
| undoubtedly lead to frustration, if not
| |
| | like adults, need to be given a sense of
|
| confrontation. The biological parent may
| |
| | control over their own lives and need to
|
| well feel threatened, if only
| |
| | feel comfortable with the situation in
|
| sub-consciously, by the need to share
| |
| | which they now find themselves. This is
|
| parenting and will need time to adjust
| |
| | not to say that the children should be
|
| and to develop confidence and trust in
| |
| | given control of the situation, which
|
| you as a parent to his or her children.
| |
| | should remain firmly in the hands of the
|
| Next, you will clearly need to establish
| |
| | parents as the ultimate decision makers
|
| your role with the children who, unless
| |
| | within the household, but every effort
|
| they are very young, will often resent
| |
| | should be made to ensure that they
|
| being guided by an 'outsider'. You will
| |
| | understand the situation and are as happy
|
| need to take things slowly and accept
| |
| | with it as is possible.
|
| that the children will need time to
| |
| | The simple fact that the children can see
|
| adjust to the situation before they will
| |
| | that their parents have clearly
|
| accept you in the role of a parent. Once
| |
| | considered the position carefully, and
|
| again, you will need the help of the
| |
| | are in agreement about it, will go a long
|
| biological parent in cementing your
| |
| | way to preventing the children from
|
| relationship with the children.
| |
| | playing one parent off against the other
|
| Any successful transition into step
| |
| | and their inclusion in the process will
|
| parenting must start with a clear and
| |
| | also help considerably in bringing them
|
| frank discussion with the biological
| |
| | on board.
|
| parent, during which each party must
| |
| | Arriving on the scene as a new step
|
| communicated freely and honestly about
| |
| | parent can be difficult for not only the
|
| how they see their role, and that of the
| |
| | step parent but for the biological parent
|
| other party, and you must both reach a
| |
| | and the children and all parties will
|
| clear agreement on just how you should
| |
| | need to work together slowly and take
|
| share the responsibilities of parenting.
| |
| | their time to establish an environment in
|
| This discussion should also set clear
| |
| | which everyone can live happily together.
|
| boundaries but should be flexible enough
| |
| |
|
