| Stepfamilies can live happily ever after. Is it easy? Not | | | | * Trying to find time to nurture a new marriage in the |
| judging by the nearly 66 percent divorce rate | | | | midst of the chaos created by bringing two families |
| remarried families experience. Is it possible? Yes. Is it | | | | (often unwillingly) together. |
| worth it? Take Tom and Tracey, married 18 years. | | | | * Two parents coming together with different |
| Tom brought a 12-year-old son to the new marriage | | | | expectations of children, rules of acceptable behavior |
| and Tracey brought four children ranging in age from 4 | | | | and emotional ties. Trying to provide mutual and |
| to 13 years. | | | | agreed-upon parental guidance to all the children in the |
| "Falling in love, getting married and dreaming 'we' would | | | | family can be difficult. |
| all live happily ever after was the easy part of | | | | The term "blended" family often adds to the confusion |
| step-parenting. The challenges came when we up | | | | and disappointment because members of a stepfamily |
| rooted children from their homes and communities and | | | | rarely blend quickly into one smooth mixture. Ron Deal, |
| placed them into the unknown, not even aware of their | | | | a nationally recognized authority on helping stepfamilies |
| hurts and losses. We began living with children only a | | | | be successful, compares bonding a stepfamily with |
| parent could love and found many problems and much | | | | cooking in a crock-pot: It takes a great deal of time |
| stress," the couple said. | | | | and low heat to bring the ingredients together. |
| But, with the help of their faith, their sons grew into | | | | In the successful stepfamily, former alliances between |
| adulthood with a genuine love and concern for their | | | | children and their natural parents are respected while |
| parents and each other. The challenges a couple will | | | | the natural parent slowly opens the door for the |
| face when putting two families together can be | | | | stepparent to become part of the mix. The end result |
| formidable. They include: | | | | can be a group of people living together who have |
| * Children still grieving for the loss of their original family | | | | come to value and respect each other and who can |
| and who are not about to accept another adult in a | | | | live together in harmony. |
| parental role. | | | | |