| Stepfamilies can live happily ever after. Is | | | | * Trying to find time to nurture a new |
| it easy? Not judging by the nearly 66 percent | | | | marriage in the midst of the chaos created by |
| divorce rate remarried families experience. | | | | bringing two families (often unwillingly) |
| Is it possible? Yes. Is it worth it? Take Tom | | | | together. |
| and Tracey, married 18 years. Tom brought a | | | | |
| 12-year-old son to the new marriage and | | | | * Two parents coming together with different |
| Tracey brought four children ranging in age | | | | expectations of children, rules of acceptable |
| from 4 to 13 years. | | | | behavior and emotional ties. Trying to |
| | | | provide mutual and agreed-upon parental |
| "Falling in love, getting married and | | | | guidance to all the children in the family |
| dreaming 'we' would all live happily ever | | | | can be difficult. |
| after was the easy part of step-parenting. | | | | |
| The challenges came when we up rooted | | | | The term "blended" family often adds to the |
| children from their homes and communities and | | | | confusion and disappointment because members |
| placed them into the unknown, not even aware | | | | of a stepfamily rarely blend quickly into one |
| of their hurts and losses. We began living | | | | smooth mixture. Ron Deal, a nationally |
| with children only a parent could love and | | | | recognized authority on helping stepfamilies |
| found many problems and much stress," the | | | | be successful, compares bonding a stepfamily |
| couple said. | | | | with cooking in a crock-pot: It takes a great |
| | | | deal of time and low heat to bring the |
| But, with the help of their faith, their sons | | | | ingredients together. |
| grew into adulthood with a genuine love and | | | | |
| concern for their parents and each other. The | | | | In the successful stepfamily, former |
| challenges a couple will face when putting | | | | alliances between children and their natural |
| two families together can be formidable. They | | | | parents are respected while the natural |
| include: | | | | parent slowly opens the door for the |
| | | | stepparent to become part of the mix. The end |
| * Children still grieving for the loss of | | | | result can be a group of people living |
| their original family and who are not about | | | | together who have come to value and respect |
| to accept another adult in a parental role. | | | | each other and who can live together in |
| | | | harmony. |