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Whose Children Are These and What Do We Do With Them?

With the introduction of family unit that nobeen impregnated through artificial
longer resembles that of the Cleavers, theinsemination; the partner had not adopted the
question of "whose kids are these anyway"child. On their separation, the court found
became a reality. There is the concept ofthat she had no rights at all, not even to
blended families where the second wife andvisit with the child. We have to wonder
husband bring their children from theirwhether that abrupt loss in that child's life
respective prior marriages together "Theis  in  the  best  interests  of  the  child?
Brady Bunch." That bunch may be expanded to
include stepchildren of either as part of theGay and lesbian adoptions are becoming more
new family. It's not just the younger side ofcommon in some states. Generally, most states
this group that has changed; mom and dad areallow an unmarried person to adopt a child if
now, on occasion, Dad and Pops or Mom andthat person can meet the jurisdictional and
Mother. The traditional family may be somelegal requirements for adoption. The next
not so traditional families including gay andstep is to find a jurisdiction that will
lesbian  parents.allow the second half of the homosexual
couple to adopt the child. In California this
By far the most prevalent new familycan be accomplished depending on a
structure is the single parent family, mostdemonstration to the Court that such an
often a woman and her children who are onadoption world be in the child's best
their own after a divorce. Fathers also fitinterest. Generally, the courts will approve
the description of single parents, and moresuch a petition; after all, two parents are
often families are headed by dad as thebetter than one. The child is protected in
single  parent.the event of the death of one parent, and the
sad case of the sudden disappearance of one
There is now the surrogate parent familyparent from the child's life is avoided in
where the child may be the biological childthe  event  of  the  breakup  of  the couple.
of only one or neither of the two parents.
This status, made possible by the wonders ofThe relationship between a stepparent and the
genetic science, is mired in the swamplandschild in divorce is becoming more and more of
of the law where the requirements with regardan issue. In many of our modern families, a
to a valid surrogacy contract are oftenstepparent has a closer relationship with the
ill-defined  and  difficult  to  enforce.child than does the non-custodial natural
parent.
So long as these families remain intact, the
lives of the children seem not to be impactedWhen the custodial parent and the stepparent
by the makeup of their parents or the sexualterminate their relationship, often those
orientation of the parent. As with thechildren will surfer greatly. It may be
children of the traditional couple, it isdifficult, but if the emotional needs of
when the family separates that the childrenthose children include seeing the stepparent,
suffer.those visitations must be arranged. The
custodial parent's anger at the stepparent or
The law is not helpful in these difficultthe stepparent's desire to punish the spouse
situations. In a recent case, half of aby not seeing the children must be set aside
lesbian couple lost not just custody butto make way of the needs of the children.
visitation of the child whom she had helpedAfter all, this will be the second marital
to raise for the first eight years of thebreakup for those children.
child's life. The mother of the child had



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