Whose Children Are These and What Do We Do With Them?

With the introduction of family unit that no longerartificial insemination; the partner had not adopted the
resembles that of the Cleavers, the question ofchild. On their separation, the court found that she had
"whose kids are these anyway" became a reality.no rights at all, not even to visit with the child. We have
There is the concept of blended families where theto wonder whether that abrupt loss in that child's life is
second wife and husband bring their children from theirin the best interests of the child?
respective prior marriages together "The BradyGay and lesbian adoptions are becoming more
Bunch." That bunch may be expanded to includecommon in some states. Generally, most states allow
stepchildren of either as part of the new family. It's notan unmarried person to adopt a child if that person can
just the younger side of this group that has changed;meet the jurisdictional and legal requirements for
mom and dad are now, on occasion, Dad and Pops oradoption. The next step is to find a jurisdiction that will
Mom and Mother. The traditional family may be someallow the second half of the homosexual couple to
not so traditional families including gay and lesbianadopt the child. In California this can be accomplished
parents.depending on a demonstration to the Court that such
By far the most prevalent new family structure is thean adoption world be in the child's best interest.
single parent family, most often a woman and herGenerally, the courts will approve such a petition; after
children who are on their own after a divorce. Fathersall, two parents are better than one. The child is
also fit the description of single parents, and moreprotected in the event of the death of one parent, and
often families are headed by dad as the single parent.the sad case of the sudden disappearance of one
There is now the surrogate parent family where theparent from the child's life is avoided in the event of
child may be the biological child of only one or neitherthe breakup of the couple.
of the two parents. This status, made possible by theThe relationship between a stepparent and the child in
wonders of genetic science, is mired in thedivorce is becoming more and more of an issue. In
swamplands of the law where the requirements withmany of our modern families, a stepparent has a
regard to a valid surrogacy contract are oftencloser relationship with the child than does the
ill-defined and difficult to enforce.non-custodial natural parent.
So long as these families remain intact, the lives of theWhen the custodial parent and the stepparent
children seem not to be impacted by the makeup ofterminate their relationship, often those children will
their parents or the sexual orientation of the parent. Assurfer greatly. It may be difficult, but if the emotional
with the children of the traditional couple, it is when theneeds of those children include seeing the stepparent,
family separates that the children suffer.those visitations must be arranged. The custodial
The law is not helpful in these difficult situations. In aparent's anger at the stepparent or the stepparent's
recent case, half of a lesbian couple lost not justdesire to punish the spouse by not seeing the children
custody but visitation of the child whom she hadmust be set aside to make way of the needs of the
helped to raise for the first eight years of the child's life.children. After all, this will be the second marital breakup
The mother of the child had been impregnated throughfor those children.